Big news for the Kidz Bop side of EDM! Selena Gomez will be releasing her self-described ‘baby dubstep’ album Stars Dance, exactly one week from now on July 24th. Supposedly influenced by Skrillex (shocker there), Stars Dance will be comprised of eleven psuedo-EDM songs.

Gomez recently released a bunch of short teasers for the album, which was really great of her. Because typically, when artists drop a steaming pile of crap like this, they don’t warn you before you step directly into it. If I can’t make it through eighteen seconds of no less than three songs without full body cringing, my mind is made up. This album is not going to be good, not even passable, it’s going to be EDM Kidz Bop. Shouts to her though for keeping it short and saving me the trauma of listening to anymore of it than humanly necessary.

I apologize in advance for offending whatever poor producer had to grind out her album for her but, I’m convinced. Convinced that Selena Gomez has set the bar so low for other celebrity producers, that they could shuffle right over it without tripping and falling flat on their face. I was considering making a deal with you all that, if this post took off I would video review the entire album. But, then I realized that was the worst idea I have ever had. Ever. Listen to one of the teasers below, if you have a something to bite down on, I recommend you get that out before you hit play.

No, really, I’ve had plenty thank-you.