I’m about to ruin your entire day, and I’m only half sorry about it.
Pop culture fanatics know the story of Sophia Grace and Rosie, two UK tots made famous by Ellen DeGeneres for their penchant for rapping. Just when you thought their 15 minutes of fame were up, Sophia Grace is back with a vengeance, waging a war on G-House and apparently my sanity. The chilled-out house genre made popular by Destructo and Amine Edge and DANCE is currently at the pinnacle of popularity. But of course, mainstream media has once again taken two popular things that have no business interacting and created this horrible monster, similar to if a bunny and a porcupine mated. Seriously, this is as uncool as your mom wearing acid-wash high-waisted jorts, a fanny pack, Crocs, and an old Thompson Twins shirt while dancing to “Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go.”
I want to hate this song. I really do, but it’s so goddamn catchy I secretly love it.
Let’s ignore the music video – an 11-year old girl and her preteen friends getting turnt and playing dress-up at KMart – and just focus on the actual song for a second. At first, this track is a semi-dope shoutout from one high-pitched girl to her bestie shutting down boys and running shit (not too far off from my adult life, to be honest). It isn’t until the chorus a minute into the song that you realize these easy lyrics are a little too easy, but by that point you’re already too far in and completely addicted to the G-House beat underneath. In all honesty, I wonder if this song was written for someone else, and after failing to find a suitable vocalist/rapper combo or Iggy and Nikki passed on it, it finally made its way down to Sophia Grace with some flipped lyrics to make it more Radio Disney friendly (is Radio Disney even a thing anymore? I haven’t been a tween in over a decade).
If you’re a fan of G-House you might be dealing with a range of emotions like myself: skepticism at how an 11-year old girl got her hands on such a nice track, anger that this song even exists, fear because you want to send this to your best friend so she can learn the lyrics for the next time you two are in the car together but you don’t want her to laugh at you, and just a pang of guilt because now you want to play this song again. It’s okay, you are not alone. I will say this: though I commend the music industry for making a ballsy move like letting a tween rap and sing over a G-House track, I’m drawing a line in the sand right now. You get a freebie for catching us all off guard this time, but don’t do it again. Ever.