Every once in a while, the wild bear comes out of hibernation to lay some heavy bass on the campers in the woods. It’s a phenomenon not often captured on camera, as the heavy sonic waves destroy the components of most visual capture devices, including digital cameras and smartphones. The sound waves are heard for miles around for about 15 minutes and then never heard again, as the bear once again retreats into the thick underbrush and disappears from sight. It is said that to witness the phenomenon first hand would be enough to grant you entry into heaven, despite any sins you may have committed.
Well, we finally captured some audio from this fabled event and we’re here to bring it to you. We only have the first portion of the recording though, so you’ll have to wait until the rest of it surfaces organically.
This “sonic event” has been given the codename “Praise It,” as it seems to be the vocal focus of the event. Along with the bear, a reggae band emerges from the thick foliage along with a large subwoofer. After the bear is satisfied with the reggae intro, he hops onto the subwoofer and delivers an astounding and vile display of bass. It’s difficult to say what exactly is emitting these unnatural sounds, but we believe the bear’s duck friend has something to do with it. If the campers are lucky enough to remain conscious after the first phase of the event, they might be lucky enough to witness an even more vile display of bass in the second “phase.”
As quickly as the event begins, it ends. The bear, duck, subwoofer and reggae band retreat and thus we await for word of the next event.
You can pre-order the full recording of the event, collectively called The Unbearable EP, on iTunes now.