“Dear Clubbers, thanks for paying for my mortgage, my Maybachs and my private jets in this holiday season. Love, Tiesto.”

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! So what better way to start of the New Year by getting yourself ridiculously in debt, which you can do by attending Tiesto’s rather extortionist and no doubt elitist NYE party.

Yes, with these prices it looks like the Dutch megastar plans to be partying like it’s 1999 all over again but unfortunately, YOU are not invited.

Unless you’re one of the lucky ones who can afford to of course.

*SPOILER ALERT*: You aren’t.

For what appears to be the prices for the ordinary schmuck such as you or me, you can expect to pay up to a rosy $600. That is of course, if you’re a guy. The ladies can expect to pay a much more reasonable $400. What a bargain. For a party that is no doubt going to suck anyway, you may as well burn a large hole in your pockets too. In fact, for those prices you can go the toilet and wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills guilt-free, heck money clearly isn’t an issue for you, do whatever you want.

But the madness doesn’t stop there. Instead, it sky-rockets.

There are several unbelievable options you can go for here: $7,000 will get you a lovely VIP table for 8 and a paltry $5,000 will net a cosy VIP Lounge table for 6. You can even get a Sky Box Suite for 18 at $20,000.

Jesus wept.

But the most expensive and luxurious option on offer here is the Dance Floor Table for 15 which comes in at an eye watering $50,000. This nets you: All the benefits of General Admission (!), 15 VIP Admission Tickets, 2 Magnum Premium Vodka, 2 Dom Perignon Luminus, Waters & Red Bull and Party Favors.

What this doesn’t include is the option to somehow stop the guilt-ridden screaming in your head as you somehow try to sleep and live with yourself late at night.

Of course, these prices don’t include the extra charges that are added on and who knows how much money there is to be spent when you get in there.

All in all, this will be a great financial exercise where a select few will get to flex their financial muscles. For these prices and the sake of their souls, this better be the party of the century…

(I hope it sucks.)

Read more about the expensive lives of DJs here: