Here’s a headline you probably weren’t expecting. It’s no secret respected figures had their fun while they were young, but who knew a prominent CNN journalist partook in the ’90s rave and drug culture? Lisa Ling, the hugely influential journalist who hosts the This Is Life With Lisa Ling show on CNN, uploaded an extensive essay detailing her early days as a “’90s rave queen.”

Prefacing her upcoming episode of This Is Life featuring the drug use at American EDM festival Mysteryland, Ling’s essay reveals her early experiences attending underground raves and clubs. While Ling powered through school and internships, she experimented with taking MDMA during late-night raves. Despite her apparent nostalgia of writing about the ’90s rave scene, Ling admits that not all of her MDMA experiences were positive, and warns of the dangers in taking the drug without being aware of its risks.

Ling’s essay is accompanied by a short video previewing her upcoming Mysteryland-centric episode of This Is Life. Ling interviews various people about rave culture’s relationship with MDMA, including attendees at Mysteryland, Gramatik, and the parents of a woman who died from taking the drug. Ling also touches upon the Bunk Police, the organization dedicated to testing alleged MDMA at festivals to promote safety.

Read Ling’s full essay at CNN, and watch the video accompanying her essay below. The Mysteryland episode of This Is Life airs tonight at 9 p.m. EST.