Last week, actress Natalie Portman pointed out some flaws with Moby‘s most recent memoir, Then It Fell Apart. For starters, she was 18 not 20 when they began hanging out. And her side of the story is quite different.
She referenced an excerpt from the book that described them as “dating,” which was really more like, “a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school,” from her perspective. Natalie said she wished Moby or his publisher would have reached out ahead of time to fact check the story.
After getting a reaction out of his former crush, Moby’s initial response didn’t allow room for error. He explained they did, in fact, date and didn’t understand why that was up for interpretation. Now, he’s opening up much more and offering a genuine apology to Natalie.
He says her concerns are “very valid” and calls himself “inconsiderate” for not contacting her ahead of time. In another post, Moby addresses some underlying issues with external validation, which may played as a factor.
Read below.
Moby’s Message
As some time has passed I’ve realized that many of the criticisms leveled at me regarding my inclusion of Natalie in Then It Fell Apart are very valid.
I also fully recognize that it was truly inconsiderate of me to not let her know about her inclusion in the book beforehand, and equally inconsiderate for me to not fully respect her reaction.
I have a lot of admiration for Natalie, for her intelligence, creativity, and animal rights activism, and I hate that I might have caused her and her family distress.
I tried to treat everyone I included in Then It Fell Apart with dignity and respect, but nonetheless it was truly inconsiderate for me to not let them know before the book was released.
So for that I apologize, to Natalie, as well as the other people I wrote about in Then It Fell Apart without telling them beforehand.
Also I accept that given the dynamic of our almost 14 year age difference I absolutely should’ve acted more responsibly and respectfully when Natalie and I first met almost 20 years ago.
I certainly haven’t enjoyed this last week, but it’s reminded me of a couple of things.
1-our sense of self and well-being really shouldn’t come from the opinions of strangers.
personally I think I’d become too reliant on external validation, especially in the form of social media.
trust me, that has ended.. and:
2-my problems are tiny and insignificant, especially in a world where over 100 billion animals are killed by and for humans every year, and where we’re facing largely unprecedented environmental destruction and degradation.
for a long time my primary goal has been to be a better, and more effective, activist.
who knows, maybe the insanity of this last week will somehow help me to do that.
it certainly does seem that for me(or any of us) to obsess over social media when the world is truly falling apart is an un-ethical waste of time. -moby
p.s-a reminder; none of our concerns will matter if the climate keeps rising, the rainforest keeps disappearing, and species continue to go extinct. social media won’t sustain us in a world that doesn’t support human life.